The Alien Enemy
by pyromoosepoop
Summary: Maka and Soul get captured by a green alien so it's up to Kid and his weapons to save them. Black Star tries to help but doesn't really do anything.
1. Chapter 1

"Maka, any luck on finding that kishen egg?" Lord Death asked through the mirror.

"Not yet. This town is really weird though. Even the sun and moon are different here," Maka said.

"It's also a lot colder," Soul added

"Soul, we went from Nevada to Michigan, what did you expect?" Maka asked rhetorically

"Well, to go from the literal middle of nowhere to almost snowing weather is not cool."

Maka rolled her eyes, then focused back on the mirror. "Anyway, the main reason we're calling is because while we were investigating the school like you told us, there was this green kid that had no nose or ears."

"He also had stupid hair," Soul added.

Maka glared at Soul for a second but then looked back at Lord Death. "I looked at his soul; it didn't seem human. It wasn't kishen, but it… it was just jarring," Maka said.

"Hmm, that's interesting. I'll see if we've encountered something like that in the past," Lord Death said.

Maka smiled. "That'd be gr-" she started, but stopped when she heard a noise. She put the mirror down. "We'll be right back, sir. Soul," Maka said.

"Right," Soul said and transformed. Maka and Soul ran out of the mirror's sights and the sounds of fighting were heard. Lord Death knew better than to talk while one of his students were fighting, but it suddenly went quiet.

"Maka?" Lord Death asked.

"Eh? Wassat? WHO ARE YOU!" an unknown voice started yelling. He sounded kind of like a child.

"It's the mirror," a different unknown voice said. This one was high pitched and robotic.

"I don't care what it's coming from, or what a 'mirror' is, just get rid of it," the first voice said.

"Okey, dokey!" the second voice said. A little green dog thing with white eyes that bulge out of its head walked up to the mirror. "Bye!" The dog said and crushed the mirror.

"Oh, that's not very good," Lord Death said while he looked back at his reflection. The connection between mirrors was obviously broken.

* * *

"Professor Stein, I think you gave me a defective frog. It's bleeding asymmetrically," Kid said. Patty was happily poking the dead frog while Liz was trying to get as far from the creature as possible without getting into the other groups.

"Kid, that's how animals normally bleed. That's also how humans bleed," Stein said.

"I don't like it," Kid said.

Stein moved his glasses up so the glare covered his eyes. "You'll learn to love it," he said.

"Trust me, I'll never love it," Liz said.

Suddenly over the school's speakers, Lord Death's voice was projected. "Hey Kiddo! I need you and your little weapon partners to come to my office immediately."

"Alrighty let's go," Liz said and left the room full of dead frogs with her sister and meister not far behind. The three of them started walking towards Lord Death's office.

"Hey, what do you think they're going to Death's office for?" Black Star asked Tsubaki.

"I don't know. Maybe instead of focusing on Kid, we could continue our dissection," She answered.

"What if he gets a super cool grim reaper job? I could do anything he does, but better, becaUSE I'M THE MIGHTY BLACK STAR! HAHAHA!" Black Star laughed and ran out of the room.

"Black Star, don't run away like that!" Tsubaki said and ran after him.

* * *

"So, you see, I need you to save Maka and find that kishen egg in the process. Kay?" Lord Death said. He caught Kid, Liz, Patty, and unsuspectedly caught up Black Star and Tsubaki (who were hiding), about the situation.

"You can count on us, Father," Kid said. He formed his skateboard beneath his feet and held his hands out.

"Yay, road trip!" Patty exclaimed and transformed.

"Anything is better than dissection," Liz said and transformed as well. The two weapons appeared in Kid's hands and he started flying away.

"Lord Death has some nerve giving this to Kid. I was friends with Soul way longer than he was! I'll show him, I'll save Maka and Soul and kill all the Kishens in my way before Kid could even get there!" Black Star ranted from his hiding place.

"Black Star, Lord Death probably chose Kid for a reason, maybe you should let it go," Tsubaki said.

"Ha, no way. Come on, we need to follow Kid," Black Star said and he started chasing after Kid with Tsubaki not far behind.

* * *

Maka opened her eyes to see a tiny gray robot with blue bulging eyes and a blue chest plate. It was on top of her smiling.

"Hi!" the robot said and waved. For some reason, the robot had a tongue.

"...Hi…" Maka said hesitantly. She looked around and it seemed she was in a dimly lit lab of sorts.

"Master told me to keep an eye on yoouuu," the robot said. It then put one of its large eyes on Maka. "This is fuuuun."

Maka didn't really know what to do. The robot doesn't seem like a threat, but she was pretty sure it had the same voice as the weird green dog that attacked her and Soul. Maka looked around her, but she couldn't look far since she was strapped onto something. She saw soul next to her on a same upright table-like thing. He was strapped to it like Maka, but unlike Maka, he was sound asleep and drooling. He didn't have a robot on him, so Maka assumed there was only one.

"Hey Mary," the robot said, "do you like tacos?"

"Umm, I don't think I've ever had a Taco," She replied. Maka decided it was best not to correct

the robot on her name.

The robot gasped and lifted its head off Maka to look at her. Then it smiled. "I'll get you a taco!" It said and ran to an elevator like thing in the distanced and raised out of sight.

Once the robot was gone, Maka looked back at Soul and tried to shake the thing he was on. "Hey, Soul," she said.

"Eh," Soul said sluggishly as he slowly opened his eyes. Then he noticed he wasn't in his own house and his eyes opened faster. "Hey Maka, where are we?"

"A lab of sorts. I think it's owned by the green kid; there was a robot on me earlier, and it sounded a lot like the green dog."

"Not cool," Soul said, "How did we even get captured?"

"That kid has really advanced technology, so he'll be pretty hard to beat," Maka said.

Soul smiled. "Then good thing we're stubborn."

Maka smiled too. "Yeah, that kid won't know what hit him."


	2. Chapter 2

Kid got off the train with Liz and Patty on either side of him. "Hm, strange. This town really doesn't have a name," Kid said.

"I think they should name it Giraffe City," Patty said.

"Kid, it's cold," Liz complained, ignoring her sister.

"I told you to bring a jacket," Kid said.

"You also told me not to pack anything!"

"We won't be here long. Anyways, we just need to find Maka and Soul, then kill the kishin egg. Eight hours at worse," Kid said.

"Only eight hours of being frozen to death? Sounds great," Liz said sarcastically.

"We should get going if you don't want it to be longer," Kid said.

"Yeah, I guess," Liz said.

"Yay! Let's go to the School!" Patty said and started bouncing to the nameless town's school.

* * *

Black Star was significantly slower than Kid since he had to run through a giant dessert instead of fly to get to the train station, but he was only about an hour behind.

"HAHAHA! JUST WATCH OUT KID! THE MIGHTY BLACK STAR WILL BEAT YOU!" Black Star yelled. Everybody else on the train ignored him.

"Black Star, I thought we were helping Soul and Maka," Tsubaki said.

"Yeah, that too," Black Star said.

Tsubaki sighed.

* * *

Kid's eye was twitching at the misspelling of school with it's big, slightly uneven font.

"Nope, not going to stand out in the cold longer than I have too," Liz said and started dragging Kid into the 'Skool'.

"The Lord Death for other schools is the principals, so do you think principals have giant mirrors too?" Patty asked.

"I don't know Patty, maybe, but other principals can't transport or see other places through mirrors, so probably not," Liz said. She was still dragging Kid.

"You're probably right. You're so smart big sis," Patty said and giggled.

The three of them soon made it to the principal's office. "How could the school misspell school? It's disgusting," Kid mumbled.

"Kid snap out of it, we need to find Maka and you're the only person that remembers all the stuff Lord Death told us," Liz said.

"And, while we're talking to the principal, you can ask him nicely to fix the spelling. And if he doesn't want to, we can always shoot him!" Patty added.

"Yeah, you're right, I can worry about the spelling of school later," Kid said and walked into the principal's office. "Hello, I'd like-" Kid started but before he could finish, or practically start, the principal screamed and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Liz and Kid looked at where the principal was in confusion.

"I like this town. Hey, maybe we should move here," Patty said.

"No," Liz said.

"Well, now that was pointless. I'll go destroy the front sign," Kid said and started walking out.

"I'll help you," Patty said and followed.

"I'll find a store while you're at it and get a jacket," Liz said.

* * *

"I bought mashed potatoes!" the robot said as it walked to Maka with a large plate of mashed potatoes.

"I thought you were getting tacos," Soul said.

"Oooh yeeeeaaaaaaaaaah," the robot said, severely elongating the words. Then it shrugged. That's when it realized something. "Heeeyy, Amy's awake!"

"Who?" Soul asked.

"I think you're Amy," Maka said, "I was called Mary."

"Why?"

"I don't think this robot is very intelligent."

"I like piggies!" The robot shouted randomly and shoved some potatoes in its mouth.

"I can't see how you could ever come up with that," Soul said sarcastically.

"We could use this ignorance to escape, so play along," Maka commanded.

"Yes sir," Soul said.

"Hey, little robot, do you have a name?" Maka asked.

"Yup!" The robot said happily and shoveled more potatoes in his mouth.

The two DWMA students looked at it for a while in silence, but it just continued eating.

"Are you going to tell us what it is?" Maka asked.

"What what is?" the robot asked.

"Your name," Soul said.

"Master calls me GIR. It stands for:" the robot said then started screaming uncontrollably. "Information Retrieval Unit."

"Okay then, GIR, who's this 'master' you talk about?" Maka asked. She wasn't even going to question how screaming turns into a G or how the unit didn't get into the acronym.

"He's my Master. He's reeeaaaal nice and gives me squids to eat alive. I like him. He's squishy!"

"Do you like us as much as your Master?" Maka asked.

"I like the Angry Money the best. And pizza."

"You seem to like food," Soul said, "Can you bring us some?"

"You want food? Okey dokey!" GIR said and regurgitated the potatoes back onto the plate and shoved it in Soul's face.

"Nevermind, I suddenly lost my appetite," Soul said.

"Anyway, GIR, could you release us from these things?" Maka asked.

"Yep."

Learning from last time, Maka basically immediately asked "will you?"

"Nope. That'll make Master mad at me, then I won't get my piggies!"

"We could get you piggies," Maka said.

"ooooOOOOoooo," GIR said and his artificial eyes widened somehow. Suddenly, a loud crash happened from above them and the whole lab vibrated.

"What was that?" Maka asked.

"GIR! THE BEAVERS ARE ATTACKING! HELP ME!" a disembodied voice yelled. It sounded like the kid that attacked Maka and Soul.

"Gotta go. Bye Jerry, bye Winona," GIR said and jumped into a green dog suit that was somehow nearby. With one swift motion, the costume was zipped up. As GIR ran to the elevator thing he put the hood on and went to the upper portion.

"That didn't go very well," Soul said.

"We may not have escaped, but we did get valuable information about GIR and his 'master'."

"Do you think the robot will bring us undigested food soon? I'm starving."

"How does a robot even have a digestive system? Nothing here makes sense," Maka complained.

"You're telling me," Soul mumbled.

* * *

"Perfectly symmetrical!" Kid exclaimed.

"Yup!" Patty agreed.

They were admiring the front of the school with the big SKOOL sign removed and burning behind them.

"Fire? Isn't that a little extreme?" Liz asked as she walked up in a new, thick coat and pants. Kid shrugged in response. "And by the way," Liz said, "our money doesn't work here and nobody cares whether you're the weapon partner of Lord Death's son or not."

"Then how did you get the clothes?" Kid asked.

"I have my ways," Liz said. She tried to cross her arms, but the jacket was too poofy, so she gave up.

The doors to the school then opened and a middle school boy walked out. He saw the burning Skool sign behind three people standing and staring at him, one of the people having weird unfinished white lines in his hair, so he stopped in his traces. The kid had an abnormally large head and large circular glasses over his brown eyes. His black hair had a large spike in the middle that went back in a gravity-defying nearly 90-degree angle. He had on a black trench coat, black pants and shoes, and a blue shirt with a light blue ghost on it.

The kid locked eyes with Kid. "Are you a part of the Swollen Eyeballs?" he asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kid said, "Is that a witch organization?"

"Don't worry, you're secrets are safe with me. I'm agent MothMan. You're agent ConscienceConsumer, aren't you? I've read all your files. Your theories on witches existence are intriguing, but I really love the weapon/human hybrids that, with the help of their owners, kill people. Although, the part where the sun laughs all throughout the day and the moon spews blood from its teeth at night is a bit farfetched, but I could still believe it."

"Kid, he's talking about Death City, isn't he?" Patty asked.

"And speaking of Death, you're theories on grim reapers are great. I recognized you're unfinished lines of sanzu from your profile picture, it's the only part that wasn't blacked out. Good disguise, by the way. Once you finally find the great Death City and get close to the Grim Reaper, I wish you luck in capturing and finding out the mysteries of them and the weapon/humans. I could lend you my dissection lab. I made it for Zim, he's an alien by the way, but it hasn't been used yet."

"Dissection? I thought we were getting away from Stein," Liz said.

"From what I know, people with a silent sun should know nothing about Death City or the DWMA, except for some runaway witches, weapons, meisters, or Kishen eggs. I think the people here that know about us have information painting us in a bad light, so they probably will dissect us if given the chance. We should act like this 'ConscienceConsumer' character until we find Maka." Kid said, but quietly so the child couldn't hear them.

"Or we could ditch the kid," Liz suggested in the same volume as Kid.

"No, that would be suspicious," Kid said, "Besides, he could give us insight into the school, or maybe the inhuman, or alien, thing that Maka sensed the soul of."

"Wow, you're smart too Kid," Patty said. She didn't really keep the same volume, but she didn't really say anything important, so Kid ignored it. He turned his attention back to the kid in the school doorway.

"So, you really are a swollen eyeball?" Kid asked.

"Yes sir, and I'm really close to getting Zim revealed for who he really is and it'll bring a lot of praise to paranormal investigation organizations everywhere," the kid said.

"Interesting. This Zim, he's an alien right? By any chance is he a green kid that had no nose or ears?" Kid asked.

The kid got really excited. "Yeah! How did you know?"

"How did you know?" Liz asked quietly.

"Father told us. You should really pay attention," Kid whispered back, then talked in normal volume "I read it. I've come here because I'm pretty sure that alien stole something very valuable to me and my friends. You could be useful."

The kid's eyes widened. "Oh sir, I would love to! My name is Dib Membrane, by the way, what's your real name?" he asked.

"It's Kid," Kid said.

Dib looked a little disappointed. "I promise I won't tell anybody your actual name," he said.

"No, that is my actual name," Kid said.

"Oh," Dib mumbled.

"And I'm Patty," Patty added.

"Liz," Liz said.

"Okay, cool, I'll show you Zim's evil base," Dib said and started walking. The Grim Reaper and his weapons started following.


	3. Chapter 3

"YAHOO! WE'RE HERE! EAT MY DUST KID!" Black Star exclaimed as he jumped off the train.

"We should go to the school, Lord Death said Maka was hunting the kishen egg there and that's where she met the inhuman green child," Tsubaki said.

Black Star snickered. "That sounds like what Kid would do. I'm trying to _surpass_ him. We're going to find Soul and Maka the Black Star way!"

* * *

"I spy something green," Soul said.

"Is it that strange liquid in the test tube over there?" Maka asked.

"No," Soul said, obviously lying.

After a while with GIR not being down there they got bored and started up a game of I spy. The score was Maka 17, Soul 2.

"You lier," Maka called him out.

"No, I swear it's not that," he said frantically looking for another green thing.

Maka smiled at Soul's bad lying, but then it disappeared and she looked at the elevator. She could see a green soul moving down towards them. "The nonhuman is coming down here," she said.

"The green kid?" Soul asked.

"Yeah. Be prepared for anything," Maka said.

The elevator came down and on the platform was a green humanoid creature with no ears or nose and had two black antennas sticking out of his head. It threw a black wig to the side and took out two giant blueish gray contacts that revealed two large, shiny, all pink eyes. He was wearing a dark pink dress-like shirt with black gloves over his three fingers, black pants, and black boots. On his back was a backpack like thing that was gray with pink circles on it.

"Computer," he said. It was the same voice that yelled at GIR earlier.

" **Ugg, What?"** a new voice asked. It was deep, slightly robotic, and sounded like it didn't want to be there. It was also unclear where the voice was coming from.

"Put beavers on my kill list," he said.

" **Higher than squirrels?"** the unknown voice asked.

"Yes. Squirrel could be of use, but beavers are just hideous. Don't put them as high as humans though."

" **Kay."**

"Also, the secret base's back got destroyed in the attack, so get onto fixing that."

" **Base rebuilding software initiated."**

The green kid smiled. He had pink zipper-like teeth. "Excellent. Next, Zim shall-" the green kid started, but saw Maka and Soul. "Ah! How did you get in the underground base of the mighty Zim you pig-humans!"

"Pig-humans?" Soul questioned.

"You brought us here," Maka said.

"I did? Um, yes I did! It was part of my great plan to… um…" the kid, presumably named Zim if he talks in the third person like Black Star, said obviously at a loss for a reason Maka and Soul were down there.

" **You were going to find out why they can transform,"** the voice said.

"Oh, yes, I knew that. Tell Zim why you can transform. Now!" Zim commanded.

"I was born with it," Soul said.

"Not good enough," Zim said. Claws came out of the backpack thing and put on safety goggles. "I'll find out why you can become these human weapon things, then use the human's own technology to overtake them. IT'S GENIUS!" The claw-handed Zim a scalpel.

"Y-you don't have to use that," Maka said, looking at the scalpel.

"DON'T UNDERMINE MY GENIUS!" Zim yelled. He started getting closer to Maka and Soul, but got interrupted by the disembodied voice.

" **INTRUDER ALERT!"** it said.

"Intruder? Who?" Zim asked.

" **Dib, but also three new people,"** the voice said. It showed a picture of Dib, Kid, Liz, and Patty outside Zim's base. Maka and Soul couldn't help but smile at the sight of their friends.

'It's so asymmetrical,' Kid said. His voice was projected into the lab.

The DWMA students' smiles faded.

"We're doomed," Soul mumbled.

* * *

"It's so asymmetrical," Kid said.

"I have to agree with you, it really is ugly," Liz agreed.

"I love earth too," Patty said, talking about the flag in the yard.

"You guys are weird, and that's coming from me," Dib said.

Kid was too busy crying over the complete asymmetry of the house, so Liz kept up their illusion. "We're hermits, normal human customs are foreign to us, especially him," Liz said and pointed to Kid.

"It's sickening. Who in their right mind makes something that hideous?" Kid said as he stared at the secret base.

"Hey Kid, can we get garden gnomes? Like from Gnomeo and Juliet." Patty asked.

* * *

"Hmmm… Is this a plan? Who are the new humans? They're so tall," Zim said.

"You think Kid is tall?" Soul asked.

"Soul, shut up," Maka whispered.

"Also, what's symmetry?" Zim asked

" **The quality of being made up of exactly similar parts facing each other or around an axis,"** the voice said.

"Why is white striped human stink-pig shedding eye water over it?" Zim asked. Maka and Soul stood strapped down in silence. "GIR," Zim yelled into a microphone thing. GIR fell down the elevator still in his dog costume.

"Yes Sir," GIR said in a deeper voice than usual. He was saluting to Zim.

"Go spy on these humans," Zim commanded pointing at the live picture of outside his house.

"Yeeeee!" Gir yelled and blasted off with rocket feet.


End file.
